How To Navigate Corporate Hell: The Guide

Here's what you'll learn in this forthcoming guide:

- The key emotional needs of every authority figure you report to, which you must keep in mind at all stages of your career. (None of these will ever be mentioned in any job description ever. Ignore them at your own peril. Also, I talk about how if you meet these needs, it almost doesn’t matter how good you are at your job at all)

- The number one key phrase uttered by managers that is a glaring sign they’re toxic. (I’ll go into what exactly this means, and how you should go about navigating the workplace if you ever hear your manager say these seven words.)

- My totally non-expert “off the cuff” guide to nailing every interview ever. (This ties in closely with the tips on managers’ emotional needs. Giving perfect textbook answers to interview questions can be a red flag to interviewers. I’ll explain my philosophy which I’ve used to wow every single person I’ve ever interviewed. No guarantees, but it’s always worked gangbusters for me.)

- How to properly apply your expertise and competence to provide real value to your teammates and company - and why doing this improperly can be career suicide.

- Key “communication seasonings”, aka words you should regularly weave into your workplace communication to signal value and maintain a “shield of professionalism”. (This goes a long way to preemptively defusing toxic situations and attacks. Even if someone consciously wants to attack you, they will know they can’t, and will probably just get angry. I enjoy this, and you will too.)

- The “48 Laws of Power” reason for why you should never be “too good at the grunt work”. (This is a closely guarded secret by many seasoned CEOs, and this may be the first time you ever read this from anyone other than them.)

- How to use email communication to make yourself “bulletproof” from any accusations that you didn’t perform your job. (This may not be news to you, but you can be attacked for this despite being an excellent employee. I’ll explain how to stop this in its tracks)

- The “Spongebob Ninja” method to defend yourself from unjust attacks on your competence from sleazy coworkers, that protects you and makes them look bad instead. (It’s a well-known tripe that climbing the corporate ladder is done by piling on your coworkers, and you WILL encounter this. Knowing how to defend yourself is critical.)

- Why corporate America is exactly like high school, and why this is important to keep in mind as you search for jobs in your field - whether because you’re trying to simply move up, or because your current job is hell and you want out.

- The REAL way to get promotions by showing your boss that you are “manager material”, and how you can accomplish this even if you’re on the bottom rung of the corporate ladder. (It’s definitely NOT “doing your job well”, or “being professional”, or any of that drivel - and even if you know what it is, executing this incorrectly could result in you being fired. I show you how to do it correctly)

- The real “emotional” needs of corporations and how each “social level” of the corporate ladder meets these needs. (Understanding this is crucial to properly positioning yourself for peer recognizement, promotions, and awards.)

- The “Four Agreements” influenced method for minimizing or eliminating the emotional toll that a toxic boss can take on you. (Aside from legitimate criticism, I have endured much narcissistic drivel and unjust “whip cracking” from managers trying to keep me under their heel. I’ll explain the exact dynamic that’s going on here, and how I’ve always remained solid as a rock in the face of it.)

- How to “make chicken stew from chicken shit” and extract professional rewards from every terrible job or task your boss makes you do. (Overworked and underpaid? Maybe in the short term, but there is ALWAYS a benefit to you from doing something incredibly difficult and ridiculous. I explain this in detail)

- How to job search from within a toxic company role, and why it could benefit you if your boss finds out about it. (I was never overt about it, but I never went out of my way to hide it either. I reveal why here)

- My personal recommendations for ways to create a sustainable income on the side, which can enable you to fully escape from your nightmare of a job. (I am not an expert on any of these, but I’ll give you the rundown of what you need to get started, and how you can work on these outside of your 9-5. I’ll also point you in the direction of people much more knowledgeable than me on these methods. Expect shameless affiliate links to go with this. No bullshit Twitter gurus, I pinky swear.)

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